because sharon did it for me

If you comment on this post:

1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must re-post this on your blog.

simulated pleasures

~apple magic! by emely.



the dawn calls for attention, just like how my random thoughts scream to be penned down.

in this case, typed.

it's like plunging headfirst into the ocean by jumping off a cliff.

the feeling of euphoria, absorbing the thrill of the wind rushing all over you. very much like rollercoaster rides, swings and para-sailing? today's loves. notice how all thrills have a common theme attached to it- risk?

we all crave for intangible features during our frail human life. we dream of the best, anticipate the worst and in most attempts, get the complete opposite in return. our senses play games with us, i tell you.

take ice-cream, for instance. the brighter the colour, the larger the dose of colouring chemicals, the more lethal it is for health. yet this sinful indulgence envelopes our tongues in a multitude of tastes, deluding our receptors into believing it is savor-worthy, that it is the perfect experience. it is not the creamy texture that get us high, the orgasmic sensation of having frozen milk + sugar + oil melt upon collision with saliva does it! well, that and the release of serotonin, otherwise simply known as the happy hormone.

that was just an example from a hungry stomache, hehe. but really, the extent to which happiness is make-believe merits enough consideration. how real is pleasure? physical pleasure was not considered. is it just about movie-like instances with all the right elements? that we can blank out the awkwardness, and remember only the good points? is it just mind over matter?

we are, after all, our most powerful weapon. i've tried telling myself it's summer when it's winter when walking in the cold. it works. almost. but still. to a certain degree, it does.

i've chased for my own happiness all my life. every now and then someone throws a bucket of water at me, stalls me a bit and makes me realize how selfish that is. i've waited for the day that i could GET OUT for as long as i can remember. in my mind, i was conjuring reckless, curfew-less nights of fun without boundaries. but somewhere along the way that too became worthless. i regret a lot of things. most of all, i regret not doing/saying/trying something at some point of my life. i hate being one of those who can only wish they had said something else one particular time, done more instead of shaking their legs around..tried harder in times of depair.

and then i came here. and then id like to think i grew up a little bit.

i guess even if you think you're happy when you're not, that should cement some faith in the world to get you through.. baby steps or not.

edited: 27th june, 2311

fei the happy babe celebrates her birthday today! striking hot in red, your enthusiasm is always admirable. cheers!

'visiting' KLIA

a blessing in disguise, to be typically late.

having gone through an entire month of unadulterated bliss, bidding goodbye to home is going to be a traumatic experience. the agony of having to choose between two favourite tops, the torture of harbouring false hopes that your luggage would reduce in weight despite inserting new additions to it, the distinct thought of knowing damn well you're gonna cry a river when separations occur.. can take a 360degrees turn for the better... if something out of the blue happens.

i cant believe i got another shot at it.. for the second time in two nights.

yes i missed my flight.

and got another chance night in my comfy bed, wheee !!!

so now my parents have to wait another night before establishing peace at home. and bro gets another go at teaching me guitar, yet again neglecting his books. and ches&russ have more of me for another day!

what a night, hehe.

a stroke of luck, a touch of fate.. an amusement of sorts. i like.

who wouldnt jump at the chance to postpone the inevitable tears at the prospect of spending more precious time with loved ones? at no extra cost at all?

so home is where the heart is. im happy.

round 2: tonight.

as for the july babies, fayelove is twentyyy! this sweet fashionista always clad from head to toe in one colour (purple, usually!) lights up my day with her morning calls, sweet random messages and giggles.

ps- notice it's fayelove, not fayefly =]

to joyce, your patience, guidance and leadership will bring us far. i look forward to semester2 with the team. happy birthday!

russell speaks

my life has been a twisted turn of gardens and chains.

the greens are my greatest joy, where i can speed-gallop around the trees that mildly resemble a jungle. i have an abundance of playtoys, ready to be swung around or thrown anytime at all. my humble abode is made comfy by pieces of soft cloth self-made into a pillow.

most importantly, i adore my family. and i hope, so do they.

recently though, i have not been feeling too well. it is as though there is a veil over my eyes fogging my vision. my skin hurts, and red spots have been breaking out in masses. the area around my eyes are a little sore. i itch all over. the most frustrating thing is not being able to do anything about it.

i've been to the vet five times in 2 weeks.

nevermind the countless jabs, pills and tortureful examinations. there are only a few things that will make me happy.

i long to remove that greyish film clouding my sight. i wish to shed my skin, and have a fresh new coat of free from irritation of any sort. i hope to be able to gauge distances, not just so that i will be able to find my toys but also to avoid minor accidents such as walking into pails. i want to be able to run freely without any care in the world.

most of all, i yearn for the company of those whom i love so dearly.

their touch can soothe any pain and chase all my blues away. their unbreaking strength will carry me through this bleak patch of unmarked territory. this wordless bond will hold me calm, strong and ever willing to fight this over.

another moment came... and touched my heart.

another second of unspoken affection written in the eyes.

another minute shows me the beauty in the simplest details.

another hour brings more of you.

another day carries me over and above the rainbow of affection.

another week of captured thoughts and nurtured bonds.

another month, another whirlwind of shared memories.

i will always hope for more seconds with you, because from there they lead into minutes into hours into days, weeks and months of an unparalled loveshake of pain, making ups and eventual bliss.

this one's for you.

juners

your laughter rings clear in my ears.
your smile lights up the faces of many.
your thoughts are as dense as mine, hehe.
your take on life is admirable.
your friendship is invaluable.
your bubbly girlyness is amusing, endearing and delightful.
it also makes you you.

happy 20th, bbypers!

~ ballarat junkies
and for the happy drunkard who is highly entertaining after large doses of alchohol, here's hoping you dont wake up with a hangover today. you are undeniably a handful of steady maniacism, depending on which mood you're on. crazy, hyper and fun. hope you had a blast last night =]

to andy, happy birthday!

~ senyuman langkawi

wandering thoughts

the working life has a tad too much icing. far too sweet, to the extent of being sickly. or is this perceived superficial front actually normal?

i think i tasted too much today.

if you're not intentionally picking out the more expensive gems to buy, you're treating your customers to expensive meals. all in the name of portrayal. the portrayal of a working soul. false, disenchanted and perhaps, lost in the realm of materialism. when did indulging in delicacies and sweet-talking become absolutely necessary to survive? i must have been missing out in all the action and lost my way somewhere.

home beckons

tell me, is it possible to rid the spare lorry tyres currently immovable from my body in 4 weeks?
such is the hope of the hopeless fool. in less than 24hours, i will have the chance to either make it or break it.

if i promise to go for jogs every single evening when i drag chester out for his rounds.. and at the same time indulge in *heart* the juiciest mouth-watering crabs, scrumptious prawn mee, roti bakar, kopi o.. and the whole works of oily, fatty, yummy food.

but what does home hold for me?

i will see beloved chester. chester the charmer, the cuddly, lovable bundle of golden fat. the boy bites, but i love him all the same. hard to break the bond, especially when you see him since he was three months old, tottering on his wobbly legs, just like bambi. aww. i wonder if he put on weight just like his other half in melbourne. i hope he remembers me. i hope he remembers that it was i who bathed him, combed him and blowdry him silly. the amount of fur that cover his body has no end!



i will also see the very cheerful russell. russell who looks in through the window every waking moment, with the pleading eyes. who yelps at every little thing, including fat old me when im outside the gates. he must be slightly cloudy at the eyes, for there is no explaining how he can mistake his owner for a stranger! i miss throwing him around and bullying the poor little boy. i miss how he jumps everytime i jump at him. i miss the way he slides on wet surfaces when i throw his favourite plastic bone. i miss laughing at him.



then there is the younger blood that means the world to me. he will annoy me till i forget what day of the week it is. he will pester me to fetch him for volleyball rounds at 7am in the morning. he will ask me to buy gifts for his female friends. he will insist that porridge from that famous shop far away from home is absolutely necessary for dinner. he will drive me crazy. but he makes me happy. he's the supposed hunk, my brother.



and of course, sweet ol' dad and mamamia. one has been a source of unending support, humour and kiddy fun. always! the other makes my day by surprising me with rare sms-es and the ocassional long convos. both are inspiring and powerful in their own ways. i have this nagging feeling that they'll try to keep me indoors as often as possible, but this time, i shall relent.

i now await the land of eternal sun and rain, where sweat is common and autumn leaves are nonexistent.

edit: many thanks to thomas the man for uploading the pics. there, happy?