crushed

and so the edifice of faith crumbles.

it's like being beaten till all the breath inside you has been knocked out, and you're there lying sprawled across the dirt floor, no energy to even lift your fingers. white lights, they keep drawing you closer. you feel compelled to let go, but there's that niggling doubt in your mind that tells you not to. time stops for what feels like forever.

once more, i find myself questioning the intentions, trying to understand the turbulence. it seems all that simple, but it has never been so tough. i may hold the threads of tolerance tightly, but my grasp is weakening. the realm of rationalism suddenly seems so far away. there are no signboards now to tell me which way to go. perhaps this is how it feels to lose vision, to see nothing but pitch black, to learn that you are one tiny white dot in the infinite space.

clueless. lonely. perturbed. disconcertingly calm. stuck in a rut.

how many times do you have to fall down before the shoving stops?

nevermind the bruised knees, it's the dignity inside that's lost. the veins cry for more oxygen. the baby pigeon whines for food from its mother. the homeless want shelter. the abused need comfort. the crushed can only pray. hope has never been more scarce. it's a debilitating sense of devastation that either makes or breaks you.