life takes a breather

when exams are near.

it's that point in time when everything is momentarily at the pause button, waiting for something to happen.

most of the time, nothing does.

you see the days draw nearer, and as much as you don't want to, you're still moving at a snail's pace. you start taking pleasure in the sights around you; the buildings look taller, the trees greener, the diversity.. even more vast.

teenage school boys plonk down on the steps, along with the bulging bag of books. the lady in front of you is carefully applying her lipstick, except that it's already perfect red. an asian couple is miling the streets, oblivious to the world around them. they dont need to know anything else, their joint hands are already showing them the world. a frail woman sits quietly in her little corner, pouting not because she's upset, but because the lines on her face make her seem so. when she gets up, every step she takes looks painful. tottering on her shoes, she half-sways, half-walks, gingerly making her way down the tram. why is she alone? how can someone so fragile be on her way to victoria market? how does she handle the weight of being on her own, to fend for herself and to stay healthy? are her grandchildren waiting for her at home? are her children working? does she have a closeknit family to be by her side?

the detachment is so surreal that you wonder if people notice. do they think the way you do? can they see the confusion through the composure, the vulnerability behind the steady hand? the steam from the coffee cup can only warm you so much. so many things on your mind, you wish you could just stop thinking. wondering. waiting.

do you even know what you're waiting for?

it's true what they say, things only happen when you least expect it. a surprise wouldnt' be one if you knew it was coming. the same way how results come with persistent effort, and not the lack of it.

in a crowd of people, you're still very much on your own. inner strength is the only thing that's holding up your fall. mess up on the priorities and you mess up on your wants, shoulds and could-haves.

is it possible to know exactly where you want to go, yet still feel so lost?

on a good day, reflections like these make me wanna break out in a run. with sandals, there's only so much you can do. saves a tram ticket all the same.