insidious pits..
every turn is littered with portholes. some large but shallow.. a few strategically obscured from view .. some you rather ignore because you refuse to acknowledge the consequences. you choose to play the fool.
no brakes..
every route taken is a step further away from home. the skeptic and the critic at odds with each other, racing towards the non-existent finishing line. no confetti for the champ, only the solace of self-justification. discipline and willpower going south, despite reality looming overhead. your mind tells you to reverse, but your foot slams down the accelerator. a capsize of your mind's sensibility.
diverging roads..
ever so frequent, another path emerges. another sacrifice to make with every choice you follow. or possibly, another chance to redeem yourself and move towards the light. baby steps, to make a difference.
broken mirrors..
distorting your view. you unwittingly close an eye to all except what you want to see. what catches your attention can only serve to beguile the gullible, to lure you deeper into an idealism of false security. a self-fabricated wall built from self-designed presumptions. a reiteration of unproductive thoughts.
where are the traffic lights to stop you from cruising around aimlessly?
where are the hidden cameras meant to deter breaking the speed limits?
why isnt there a good feeling about this journey?
the truth is you probably sent yourself on a mental guilt trip. a prolonged excursion that never quite settles for a destination because you are too busy kicking yourself to decide where to go. in fact, you are not even sure if you got over the resentment of the past. you fear too much of hurting others, but get hurt yourself. you seek approval from people you do not need it from. you are living in self-inflicted pressure, stretching yourself way too thin. a constant state of denial, a somewhat skewed faith in extreme optimism.
i want a change.
a purpose-driven life; simpler and with a focus. being selective is being effective.
what drives your life?
p.s. to add cheer to your day, try Copperpot's fine selection of delectable 2-in-1 dips. top 3 on the list include Lemon garlic prawns & avocado mayo, Chilli crab & spring onion and Cracked pepper & pesto. best enjoyed with crisp crackers, no expectations and the usual state of befuddlement.
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10 comments:
ahh.. somehow i always look forward to your entries... it's like a little getaway without leaving the comfort of my room. ya know, at the rate my badminton is going, i just might be coming to melbourne! hehehe... ^_^ will letcha know more about it soon when i plan it out.
"It's good to have an end to journey towards, but it's the journey that matters, in the end". And "a journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles". Those are both quotes by the way, that sprang to mind after reading your latest post.
I love this entry.. It makes you think. :)
"you will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. you will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." - Albert Camus
That one's on my corkboard at the moment.
k..this has been posted on heidz blog but since it shares something i think you need...
We begin from the recognition that all beings cherish happiness and do not want suffering. It then becomes both morally wrong and pragmatically unwise to pursue only one’s own happiness oblivious to the feelings and aspirations of all others who surround us as members of the same human family. The wiser course is to think of others when pursuing our own happiness.
Dalai Lama
Stuff like that happens when you dont have a proper driving license.
Guess there's no such thing as Lesen terbang in real life.
*apologies for the lack of anything insightful
food for thought.. needed this.
hope to see you soon wei hon!
lyrad,
the journey.. yeah, in a way, i keep thinking about what the end result will be, instead of making the best of how i will get there.
friends.. definitely. im working on this.
hui wen, glad to have you drop by once more=]
lx,
dont you find yourself searching for happiness sometimes? it's ironic, that over-indulgence in the pleasures of life eventually lead to a downfall. my take on it, anyway.
and.. i just got myself a corkboard too!
kenny,
so so true. after reading your comment, i felt(feel) so selfish. i believe that we are what others make of us. why not spread the love.. even in times of distress, making others happy will make us happy in turn.
dan, lesen terbang hidup ada kat tangan kita. kalaulah kita tahu guna.
Hey mel... you may recognise this from long ago I wrote for someone... I feel it for you too atm.
A Salute
I always wish I would be able to do just the right thing to make people’s day. While it could be something as simple as a little 'how are you', to something as complex as alleviating an emotional breakup, I always wish I could help, genuinely, genially. Often, I observe and I listen. What I see and hear grow my intuitions, which I will trust to administer the right comfort.
For those whose heart aches yet made the tough decisions anyway, I salute thee.
It has been said that when a door closes somewhere, another opens somewhere else.
Have patience. Have faith.
:)
L I S S,
The feelings you feel,
I feel it too.
The trip you are on,
I was on it too.
A night of calmness,
Candle flames dancing,
Careless Whisper fading through the backdrop,
Broken by your simple hello
Half an hour of your voice,
An hour of thoughts,
Four hours of tossing in bed,
Five hours of sleep
What happened to my senses?
Why such a huge reaction?
Your fear of hurting others,
Your approval seeking self,
Your constant state of denial,
Is this really you?
Find what you love most,
Treasure people closest to your heart,
Find room in what creates you,
And you will find me
Live a simple life,
Where only happiness looms
A garden of rainbows,
A sky of stars,
Illuminated by moonlight,
Recreated by you
Dear girl,
Life doesn’t need to be purpose driven,
It just needs you being happy in it.
From: An echo of your heart.
dear anonymous 1,
you do help, in all your genuine concern and live-in-the-moment suggestions. always knowing that i have you to turn to is more than comfort enough.
i salute you.
dear anonymous 2,
the echo of my heart.. an old flame, a colourful memory of daisies, cold winds and warmth on most nights.
thank you.
that was beautiful.
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