she stares blankly at the papers in front of her, seeing past the printed knowledge meant to save her this friday.
in the next half-moon cubicle, teenage boys throw vulgarities at each other, an obvious norm in their daily conversation. the chatter drones on, mildly comforting because it ties her down to the reality that she is not in the safe haven of rainbows. the cleaner stacks up the grey stools on the white tables. an unintentionally hostile move, depriving new customers of choice.. and reminding existing ones that it is already two hours past midnight. the music is strangely familiar; pop in all its young glory. the smell of fries wafts through the air. oil-laden, salt-infested, the staple meal for almost all present. two policemen walk in. two friends follow. medics arrive not long after. all with a common goal.. supper.
her shoulders rise with every breath, her body otherwise motionless. the calculated movements stop her from feeling already more suffocated than she already feels. the seat grows warmer by the minute, but her fingers turn icy cold. she wills the tears to come, but none surface. inside, the war continues. outside, she is the picture of tranquility.
she remembers the barter trade; vulnerability in exchange for sweet nothings.
she should have known.
in the next half-moon cubicle, teenage boys throw vulgarities at each other, an obvious norm in their daily conversation. the chatter drones on, mildly comforting because it ties her down to the reality that she is not in the safe haven of rainbows. the cleaner stacks up the grey stools on the white tables. an unintentionally hostile move, depriving new customers of choice.. and reminding existing ones that it is already two hours past midnight. the music is strangely familiar; pop in all its young glory. the smell of fries wafts through the air. oil-laden, salt-infested, the staple meal for almost all present. two policemen walk in. two friends follow. medics arrive not long after. all with a common goal.. supper.
her shoulders rise with every breath, her body otherwise motionless. the calculated movements stop her from feeling already more suffocated than she already feels. the seat grows warmer by the minute, but her fingers turn icy cold. she wills the tears to come, but none surface. inside, the war continues. outside, she is the picture of tranquility.
she remembers the barter trade; vulnerability in exchange for sweet nothings.
she should have known.
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5 comments:
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish....
I know what you mean. Too much to do before the next exam. Actually makes you feel a little powerless. Never felt that before about exams. But keep at it Liss, we'll get there :)
If it's of any use, I find it helps to take 10 minute naps when the body starts to complain too much. Helps get rid of the stress I find.
If its exams you're talking about, I just plod on, telling myself that it will all be over in a few weeks.
I don't know why, but your post struck me as romantic/sad. It sounded like you were waiting for someone.
hahaha. jiwang me.
How did you get to my blog anyway?
dear Melissa Lam
Jia you!!
hello nirm, gluck for the exams!
powerless.. that's the word that best describes it.
15th june, the holidays arrive!
dear karthiben
amazing, you struck a chord.
found your blog through one of my weekly blog surfs i think. that, or facebook. either one=] see you at MASCA games!
ka yau joachim!
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