how do you expect me to believe you?
you and your sugar sweet words and beautiful bluntness. i may have unwittingly played your game before, but it was naivety that did me in, and unjustified assumption that made you lose the match. the first time was nothing more than empty guilt, but the second time you made me hope. it was obvious the fittings did not suit the layout, yet i turned a blind eye to the misfit. thrice stupid, except this time, i am not going to let it get past tonight. i may have partook of your luring scheme, but this is only a short-term stay.
i just cant believe you almost fooled me again.
there never is a right one, is there?
silly me, to spend my few free hours searching for something, anything, that could remotely deceive me into believing that there could be a connection, however small that link may be. of course there were the right moments. the casting glance lasts a split second too long, and you know in that instant that there is meaning to more than meets the eye. the customary parting step, the barely audible whisper that traces the last farewell.. and more. the design is perhaps more creative than before, but there is still nothing one can do to the blueprint. and so the same people half-battle, half-concede to a setting that is so strikingly similar to what was before. no agreement. no resolution. no truths. or maybe this is the truth.
to want to believe, to secretly hope, to be afraid of being disappointed again.. these are the traits of the willing fool.
apartment-hunting sucks.
so does the humid weather, horrible civic attitude of the local Chinese and the reckless drivers on the road.
it is fucking rock bottom when the past catches up with you, and you are reminded of things you thought you forgot about.
you and your sugar sweet words and beautiful bluntness. i may have unwittingly played your game before, but it was naivety that did me in, and unjustified assumption that made you lose the match. the first time was nothing more than empty guilt, but the second time you made me hope. it was obvious the fittings did not suit the layout, yet i turned a blind eye to the misfit. thrice stupid, except this time, i am not going to let it get past tonight. i may have partook of your luring scheme, but this is only a short-term stay.
i just cant believe you almost fooled me again.
there never is a right one, is there?
silly me, to spend my few free hours searching for something, anything, that could remotely deceive me into believing that there could be a connection, however small that link may be. of course there were the right moments. the casting glance lasts a split second too long, and you know in that instant that there is meaning to more than meets the eye. the customary parting step, the barely audible whisper that traces the last farewell.. and more. the design is perhaps more creative than before, but there is still nothing one can do to the blueprint. and so the same people half-battle, half-concede to a setting that is so strikingly similar to what was before. no agreement. no resolution. no truths. or maybe this is the truth.
to want to believe, to secretly hope, to be afraid of being disappointed again.. these are the traits of the willing fool.
apartment-hunting sucks.
so does the humid weather, horrible civic attitude of the local Chinese and the reckless drivers on the road.
it is fucking rock bottom when the past catches up with you, and you are reminded of things you thought you forgot about.
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1 comment:
Malaysia!
No wonder you were up blogging away. Why didn't you tell me what was troubling you? I didn't think it was too serious so didn't probe too much. Just thought it was the apartment search and the damn heat.
But to swear in a post! You should have screamed out your frustrations to my willing ear. Well, at least you got a Portugese tart. :)
We'll talk later...
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