every turn is littered with portholes. some large but shallow.. a few strategically obscured from view .. some you rather ignore because you refuse to acknowledge the consequences. you choose to play the fool.
every route taken is a step further away from home. the skeptic and the critic at odds with each other, racing towards the non-existent finishing line. no confetti for the champ, only the solace of self-justification. discipline and willpower going south, despite reality looming overhead. your mind tells you to reverse, but your foot slams down the accelerator. a capsize of your mind's sensibility.
ever so frequent, another path emerges. another sacrifice to make with every choice you follow. or possibly, another chance to redeem yourself and move towards the light. baby steps, to make a difference.
distorting your view. you unwittingly close an eye to all except what you want to see. what catches your attention can only serve to beguile the gullible, to lure you deeper into an idealism of false security. a self-fabricated wall built from self-designed presumptions. a reiteration of unproductive thoughts.
where are the traffic lights to stop you from cruising around aimlessly?
where are the hidden cameras meant to deter breaking the speed limits?
why isnt there a good feeling about this journey?
the truth is you probably sent yourself on a mental guilt trip. a prolonged excursion that never quite settles for a destination because you are too busy kicking yourself to decide where to go. in fact, you are not even sure if you got over the resentment of the past. you fear too much of hurting others, but get hurt yourself. you seek approval from people you do not need it from. you are living in self-inflicted pressure, stretching yourself way too thin. a constant state of denial, a somewhat skewed faith in extreme optimism.
i want a change.
a purpose-driven life; simpler and with a focus. being selective is being effective.
what drives your life?
p.s. to add cheer to your day, try Copperpot's fine selection of delectable 2-in-1 dips. top 3 on the list include Lemon garlic prawns & avocado mayo, Chilli crab & spring onion and Cracked pepper & pesto. best enjoyed with crisp crackers, no expectations and the usual state of befuddlement.