September 25, 2008


the pakistan mariott hotel suicide bombing that inflicted pain on too many..

the 2 year detention of RPK in what is supposed to be a need for religious rehabilitation..

the reckless implementation of nonsensical policies and baseless institutions set up to bring 'democracy'..

contaminated milk that has hindered many all over the world from their daily dose of dairy products..

the collapse of what is supposed to be one of the strongest financial markets in the global money-obssessed world..

the usage of taxpayer's funds to buffer the loss of stability brought upon by ambitious firms themselves..

the inadequacy and inefficiency of certain departments to ease the transition of their employee transferring to Shanghai..

the debilitating fear that numbs your body in the night's cold when you realize you're being stalked by a random guy on the street..

the impounding sense of loss and loneliness that drowns the mind, heart and soul every time solitude beckons..

the wave of tears that give a merely temporary form of release, only to hit again relentlessly..

the helplessness that stares at you in the face, knowing that you can do nothing about everything at all.

September 18, 2008

My Paralympics Story

The Paralympics Opening Ceremony at Bird's Nest

and the spectacle began.

being the lesser-known other half, the Paralympic Games is a parallel competition held alongside the Olympic Games. first held in Rome in 1960, the Beijing Games had about 4,200 participants from 147 countries. while the Beijing Olympics boasted grandeur and splend0ur that exceeded ordinary expectations, the Beijing Paralympics shared a genuine and heartfelt love that transcended the extraordinary.

i was privileged enough to have a taste of the Paralympics spirit because dad sits on the Asia Oceania Committee Volleyball for Disabled (AOCVD). With an official tag that allow you access into any sporting venue and VIP lounge, playing unofficial interpreter and tour guide has given me an insight into the Games and allowed me to meet many inspiring people from around the world. technical directors who stress over the most minute details because they want to create a flawless flow of events, competition managers who devote themselves to organising everything but still find time to show you around, and sports officials who are passionate about their respective sport.

more importantly, the Paralympics athletes, whose zest for life has gained them more respect than any able-bodied athlete. among the lessons learnt while watching Paralympians compete is that you first have to have self-respect before others can respect you. acceptance of your own strengths and shortcomings can go a long way in making dreams come true.

福牛乐乐 at the Games Village
from the VIP stand
the First Lady at the Malaysian Embassy
Opening Night inside Bird's Nest
athletics: 800m on wheels
some of us volleyball regulars Malaysian delegation!
Sports Minister & KL Mayor in Beijing's Kedutaan Malaysia
swimming at the Water Cube
traversing the Juyongguan Great Wall with a helpful volunteer
wheelchair basketball at Wukesong Stadium
dinner with close friends at 花家怡园
gold to China
Closing Night outside Bird's Nest

it has been the week of a lifetime.
a memorable end to my chapter here in Beijing, and a good start to a new Shanghai journey.

The Paralympics Closing Ceremony at Bird's Nest

the flame fades under the fireworks extravaganza

September 04, 2008

misunderstood but it's okay

when casual catch-ups turn into obligations. or social gatherings turn out to be nothing more than aimless roaming with multiple detours. something which is both amusing and disturbing at the same time. hey, i tried. it's tough to accommodate all when time itself is a mighty opponent.

when others disapprove, and assume the worst without understanding. so being nice is said to be too friendly, and being cold is called using the trump card. im just being myself. what if this actually is the real deal?

when physical attraction remains to be the only draw. and the lines of familiarity get entangled with what shouldnt be. what makes me feel whole again may only be a temporary illusion that may hurt much more than it rejuvenates. silly as it sounds, sometimes being mean is to mean well.

when too much spice causes daily discomfort. but never bad enough to deter relentless gastronomical adventures from the deprived soul. . only to be accused of being gluttony.

when seeing is feeling heartpangs and knowing that more needs to be done. more time spent, more walks and talks together, more love shown and shared with loved ones. including the loyal dogs we call our best friends. i wish with all my heart i could.

but i am blessed enough to be able to laugh. and cry. express my emotions with friends whom i will always share a bond with.

to speak my mind and share my innermost thoughts with a treasured brother who listens and shares with equal trust. to hope that he knows his 19th birthday means the world even if i cant be there.

to explore familiar haunts with renewed delight and seek new pleasures with newfound vigour. nothing better than to sample local tastes with family. and revel in the usual banter that keeps me sane and grounded. to know without a doubt that there is nothing that stands between blood.

to love, and be loved in return. and hopefully make others happy in the process. im still learning.

it's good to be back, but the days have never felt so short.. it's as though they were snatched away before i could fully absorb the force of it.
if anything, it is fuel to last the next two trying months before the next trip home.