handyman

fixing the shower head today.

so meticulous, handling the equipment with utmost care. something about the intense concentration in his eyes.. the genuine desire to make it all work smoothly. the subtle physical strength, toned and pulsing through the movements. so courteous on one hand, and yet so masculine on the other.

i could go on..

but in one word,

heart to heart

sun & wine at port melbourne

pensive..

one of those times, when i turn to words for clarity of thought- a weirdly fulfilling way of digesting the spurts of emotion, to learn and see for myself how my mind works. there was a word that daryl and lx once used back at deli france in BSC, to explain why people write only when during gloomy days. hah, im one of those people.. dwelling in extremes- overflowing words for rain, narcissistic pictures for sunshine. all this while being horribly cryptic, possibly because im detail-phobic when it comes to me.. or because ive grown so accustomed to using the sensitivity shield; the less you know, the less i have to explain!=D
.. doesnt always work out well- creating more confusion that wanted, igniting curiosity beyond my sharing capacity..in all sincerity, it's unintentional=]

reading..

a rarity, as many would know. now a nightly ritual, to read until the eyes are heavy.. and yet still pushing on to the very last word.

i kissed dating goodbye (the revelation clears up the fog- thank you pigs). little women. a maid from heaven. boy meets girl. the buddha, geoff and me (back to you next year, heids). a life unleashed (well-timed, josh. thank you!). laughter, the best malaysian (tickles fly silly).

so much depth in each; sporadic statements all over that do you in till dawn. exceptional insight, subtle and inspiring. uniquely different in their own ways, a spiritual awakening, childhood re-visitations, cheer ups for the soul. makes me think all over again; something i tried to avoid during the year. a great spring clean though, sorting through the jumble pummeled deep inside. saying hello to the doubts that still linger, accepting new values, finding strength to see them through.

being comfortable..
could never equate to contentment.. not for long anyway. a part of me wants so badly to stay put, but a larger part pushes me along the parlous path. the roadblock up ahead barricades you into asking what's next? there is no correct answer, only a slow inching of distance forward from trespassing new grounds. precarious, but so tangible.. so close.

21 is only a number..

it sums up a reckless youth, an untimed horizon of living for today, a searching chapter selfishly defined. an indefinite amount of moments to remember, to cherish, to feed the soul.

been wanting to write about my AIESEC Experience.. will get to it soon.

the clock still ticks..

time to move out of the comfort zone- refreshed and fire rekindled.
new year's resolutions..?