untitled

i saw a pair of shoes dangling down a tree in front of melbourne central today, held there by its trustworthy shoelaces. some kind, amused soul must have had a good laugh throwing it up there, either as a joke or in the midst of drunkedness.

but it was picture perfect to me.

holding on by just a thread, trapped in the moment. hanging off a cliff by a rope, and you stop to take a breather. standing in the middle of the road, and you see a car speeding straight towards you. it's all in that split second, when everything comes to you in full force.

honeyboy turned hunky 20 recently =]
sugar sweet, brimming hot, ultra sexy.
mine.


..and Merdeka Day arrives.

crushed

and so the edifice of faith crumbles.

it's like being beaten till all the breath inside you has been knocked out, and you're there lying sprawled across the dirt floor, no energy to even lift your fingers. white lights, they keep drawing you closer. you feel compelled to let go, but there's that niggling doubt in your mind that tells you not to. time stops for what feels like forever.

once more, i find myself questioning the intentions, trying to understand the turbulence. it seems all that simple, but it has never been so tough. i may hold the threads of tolerance tightly, but my grasp is weakening. the realm of rationalism suddenly seems so far away. there are no signboards now to tell me which way to go. perhaps this is how it feels to lose vision, to see nothing but pitch black, to learn that you are one tiny white dot in the infinite space.

clueless. lonely. perturbed. disconcertingly calm. stuck in a rut.

how many times do you have to fall down before the shoving stops?

nevermind the bruised knees, it's the dignity inside that's lost. the veins cry for more oxygen. the baby pigeon whines for food from its mother. the homeless want shelter. the abused need comfort. the crushed can only pray. hope has never been more scarce. it's a debilitating sense of devastation that either makes or breaks you.

aging

*gasp* pixie-like, fairytoothpaste-loving manda is 20! who else gets high on skin lotions and glitter in toothpaste? who else will have trouble holding up an xs jeans? it's good to be young at heart:) happy birthday dear!


passionate, driven and formidable. a man of many sides, this one. much too young for his depth, and cocky beyond repair. cracks up easily, and has the room laughing with him. happy birthday lx, you're 21!

edited:

cheeky alvin also turns a big old 20. i miss your noise mister! you bring laughter, frustration and amusement to me, always. it's hard to imagine how i got through a whole semester without you here. cheers!

itchy fingers

can actually bring you some good.

what was meant to be an innocent forray into the 'free rainbow blogger skins' google zone turned out to be a full-fledged revamp of sorts. what do you do when you've completely messed up your original template after excessive copy-and-paste sessions? why, you pick a new one of course, to compensate the mistake of your butter internet fingers.

so look what we have here.

GREEEEN!

feedback?

waves of thought

despite spending a good number of hours in front of the untalking screen, i realized something today. i am almost computer-illiterate. seriously.

who knew there were so many shortcuts that you could use in Microsoft Word that could have saved me all the time in the world?
no wonder my assignments felt so long to type.
who knew there were other browsers other than internet explorer?
because my pictures stopped loading, i was forced to steal favours from friends just so they could help me upload pictures. i am now a proud user of mozilla, and there have been no problems since.
even then, who knew that you could open multiple tabs under one browser?
thanks kev, for finally enlightening me.
finally, how on earth do you navigate through blog templates?
now you know why i have no links, no personalized deco, no mambo jumbo that i wish i could put into my sidebar. blogging pros, TEACH ME.

idioticity aside, i have learnt so many things in a week.

1. bonds do strengthen through distance. the ocassional daisies sprinkled over the months bring us closer than ever before.

2. i have absolutely no self-discipline. zilch. nothing. food and classes are my greatest failings, ironically. i cant keep my hands (and mouth) off titbits ranging from anything with hints of chocolate to indomie to cream crackers to nutella and peanut butter. i also have an aversion to attending classes. this week's attendance grand total of 0 lectures and 2tutes is just excellent. i may as well inscribe my name on this year's failure list.

3. ViSuaLs make me happy. i have approximately 18 beautiful pictures lighting up my room, and that that's only because i counted the 4 collages as 4. even better is the poster i just bought that says all! "if you want want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." -dolly parton. it's a simple black poster with a rainbow-coloured umbrella right smack in the middle, and droplets of rain mildly splattered around it.*heart* i so feel the connection.

4. just because you stay off alchohol doesnt mean you can lose weight. grrr, i try.

5. im a sports addict. i want to get my hands dirty with rackets, strength and sweat. i need to get over my fear of walls in squash! next week will tell if the badminton sessions at caulfield work out.

6. im not as homesick as before. true, the heartstrings do get tugged every now and then, but they're not as close to the waterducts near my eyes as compared to last semester. it's a worrying relief.

7. last night's hillsong talk on 'getting involved' struck a chord close to home. we all shy away from inconveniences all the time; be it someone's despair, an annoying phonecall, or just being asked to give up an extra hour of the day. being the selfish humans that we are, we avoid at all costs. sometimes all it takes is that tiny extra effort put in that could brighten someone's day.. or perhaps, change someone's life. and ours in return. im gonna try to 'get involved'.

8. i have three meals a day, no matter what time the start. 3pm: wakes up and eats cereal. 530pm: cooks lunch. 9pm: dinner. 12am: titbit supper. amazing isnt it?

9. i want a foolproof 100% success guaranteed plan on killing procrastination! PLEASE.

10. since i've reached this far, this proves how number 9 has completely failed me. here's to trying again.

edit: 17th august, 0214

because i have not managed to gather all the pics we took at kimchi grandma's that night, here's one for you sue hui! beautiful women age with grace. you'll age gracefully, i know =] happy birthday!

ps- i still have your bday card with me.

pretty daisies?

these will always remind me of you.


i find myself wondering what a proper student should be like. one who attends every lecture, prepares for every tute and is never late for class?

or one who attends a few lectures, never prepares for tutes, is always late for class.. and juggles a truckload of extra-curricular activities by the side?

the former ensures good results. the latter ensures good experience. im selfish, i want both.

my winter in msia part 1

from 1u to midv to private bday bashes to souled out to madamkwans with the laughoutloud bunch and the nonstop clicks and flashes.
witty daryl. sarah the babe. funkyGi. alvin the menace. busy calvin. dannyial the joker. ee ling the makeup artist. happy drunkard andy. rachel kicks ass. smooth havoc siva. cool chris.

silly me

my (lack of) sensibility, punctuality and rationality is proverbial.

original wednesday timetable:

12pm- cm lecture
1pm - aiesec events meeting with jon
3pm - cm tute
4pm - acs tute
5pm - cl lecture

what actually happened:
12pm - missed what i thought was qm2 lecture

135pm - on the tram. Jon: "Melissa, are you coming?"
- heart stops beating. "uhh, for what?"

2pm - replaced qm2 tute that i missed on monday
3pm - acs tute

4pm - checks timetable. "omgosh how come i've another acs tute at 4pm?"

405pm- checks timetable again. "shit i completely missed my cm tute!"

415pm - proceeds to library to type junk. halfway typing... "oh no there was another cl lecture at 4pm that i could have gone for!"

430pm - proceeds to plan thursday's timetable with extra care.

aghhhhh. the clown in me.