simulated pleasures

~apple magic! by emely.



the dawn calls for attention, just like how my random thoughts scream to be penned down.

in this case, typed.

it's like plunging headfirst into the ocean by jumping off a cliff.

the feeling of euphoria, absorbing the thrill of the wind rushing all over you. very much like rollercoaster rides, swings and para-sailing? today's loves. notice how all thrills have a common theme attached to it- risk?

we all crave for intangible features during our frail human life. we dream of the best, anticipate the worst and in most attempts, get the complete opposite in return. our senses play games with us, i tell you.

take ice-cream, for instance. the brighter the colour, the larger the dose of colouring chemicals, the more lethal it is for health. yet this sinful indulgence envelopes our tongues in a multitude of tastes, deluding our receptors into believing it is savor-worthy, that it is the perfect experience. it is not the creamy texture that get us high, the orgasmic sensation of having frozen milk + sugar + oil melt upon collision with saliva does it! well, that and the release of serotonin, otherwise simply known as the happy hormone.

that was just an example from a hungry stomache, hehe. but really, the extent to which happiness is make-believe merits enough consideration. how real is pleasure? physical pleasure was not considered. is it just about movie-like instances with all the right elements? that we can blank out the awkwardness, and remember only the good points? is it just mind over matter?

we are, after all, our most powerful weapon. i've tried telling myself it's summer when it's winter when walking in the cold. it works. almost. but still. to a certain degree, it does.

i've chased for my own happiness all my life. every now and then someone throws a bucket of water at me, stalls me a bit and makes me realize how selfish that is. i've waited for the day that i could GET OUT for as long as i can remember. in my mind, i was conjuring reckless, curfew-less nights of fun without boundaries. but somewhere along the way that too became worthless. i regret a lot of things. most of all, i regret not doing/saying/trying something at some point of my life. i hate being one of those who can only wish they had said something else one particular time, done more instead of shaking their legs around..tried harder in times of depair.

and then i came here. and then id like to think i grew up a little bit.

i guess even if you think you're happy when you're not, that should cement some faith in the world to get you through.. baby steps or not.

edited: 27th june, 2311

fei the happy babe celebrates her birthday today! striking hot in red, your enthusiasm is always admirable. cheers!