not a very smart choice to tackle this age-old mire that many try to understand, but fail, and others shy away from. a bewilderment that leaves many questions unanswered, i found some food for thought after a series of events.
i thought that love is about making sacrifices.
about making choices that messes up your plans, vexes you silly and then realizing in an instinctive afterthought that he really is worth your while after all.
love is about plonking down on the sofa next to him and knowing that there's no other place you would rather be.
whether you're tired, moody or overjoyed, he is the first person you're bursting inside to tell.
love is about the million and one sensations that flood your entire being when you're missing his company, and you know it is not just an amatory conquest.
love is when you feel at home even when you're not at home.
because he makes you feel whole.
it is when every other person is playing to an affectation of hellos, and how are yous, but you are consciously being submerged in the ups and downs of a reality show. because things do get blown out of proportion sometimes, and as much as you dont want to, you still cry.
love is about finding time to spend with each other, whether on a long-distance phonecall or just sitting by the sidewalk together, trying to watch the world go by but really just drawing out the comfortable silence.
right?
but i thought wrong.
it is not that the flowers and birthday cards dont matter. like all other relationships, it is not just about how far you can go.. but how much you can take.
can you take the periods of neglect, when it feels like rejection but really is just a busy period at work? can you take the unreturned text messages that fell on blind eyes because studying for an important exam got in the way? do periods of non-communication eat you up inside, and you're tired of being the first to call? can you find it within yourself to understand completely, without expectations, when parents and friends take first place?
love is when every little thing matters, but nothing, absolutely nothing, changes the way you feel even when you know there is more to life than waiting around for the next romantic movie together.
i thought that love is about making sacrifices.
about making choices that messes up your plans, vexes you silly and then realizing in an instinctive afterthought that he really is worth your while after all.
love is about plonking down on the sofa next to him and knowing that there's no other place you would rather be.
whether you're tired, moody or overjoyed, he is the first person you're bursting inside to tell.
love is about the million and one sensations that flood your entire being when you're missing his company, and you know it is not just an amatory conquest.
love is when you feel at home even when you're not at home.
because he makes you feel whole.
it is when every other person is playing to an affectation of hellos, and how are yous, but you are consciously being submerged in the ups and downs of a reality show. because things do get blown out of proportion sometimes, and as much as you dont want to, you still cry.
love is about finding time to spend with each other, whether on a long-distance phonecall or just sitting by the sidewalk together, trying to watch the world go by but really just drawing out the comfortable silence.
right?
but i thought wrong.
it is not that the flowers and birthday cards dont matter. like all other relationships, it is not just about how far you can go.. but how much you can take.
can you take the periods of neglect, when it feels like rejection but really is just a busy period at work? can you take the unreturned text messages that fell on blind eyes because studying for an important exam got in the way? do periods of non-communication eat you up inside, and you're tired of being the first to call? can you find it within yourself to understand completely, without expectations, when parents and friends take first place?
love is when every little thing matters, but nothing, absolutely nothing, changes the way you feel even when you know there is more to life than waiting around for the next romantic movie together.
there is no telling how or why or when i will know the feeling.
only the sky is the limit.
5 comments:
hey m,
really nice to read one of your 'reflections' again. i do agree with you that often being in love is not just sweet and rosy all the time but merely another priority on top of the many other relationships that currently exists. marriage is, i recently discovered, anor step higher on the priority ladder, making not just you important, but his family and his friends important to you as well. and of cos not to mention the thousand and one duties and obligations that come with it.
take heart, dear friend. and always remember to look on the bright side for the fact that love is really a many splendoured thing that every gal dreams of.
from ur pics i can tell you've found happiness and home. it seems to me that KL is where u'd always want to be. and remember, i'm just a causeway away and thinking of u all the time :)
how i wish i could understand and experience even a little bit of all these, just to learn more.
yet i seems to be hopeless in this field.
Love is an art. And like most arts, it is hard to define, but when we are in it's presence, we feel it =)
omg liss, i cried reading this. for some weird reasons. haha. well said. can't wait to have a good hang out time with you!
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